Have you ever set out to accomplish a personal or professional goal with a statement like this in mind: “I’m going to start this goal only to give up on it, give up on myself, and completely fail within the next 90 days!” Or maybe woke up one morning and told yourself, “Today is the day!” I am not going to accomplish anything at work today! In fact, I anticipate my boss will pull me into the office so I can hear these words ‘You’re fired'”. Well of course we don’t set that intention for our day to day or lifelong goals. We all have dreams and goals we would love to accomplish in our lifetime. So why do we start strong, full of hope and intention and then all of a sudden something happens? What is this force that takes over, hindering us from fulfilling the desired outcome? I believe it boils down to a frequently misused word in our vocabulary; can’t. The word can’t provides an excuse which helps us hide behind distractions and ultimately covers fear.
The understanding of the word can’t came to me a few weeks ago. It represents the one and half year gap in blog entries on this page that you are currently reading. A year and a half ago, I had set out with great intention to write on this blog on a consistent basis. My desire was to share from the heart to help, encourage, uplift and spread a message of love in a different way. Why? There are plenty of bloggers, writers, authors out there however sometimes the same message presented in a new light provides insight and understanding like you have never seen before. I knew I had experiences to share and have always enjoyed writing. Quite frankly I feel agitated and frustrated when I don’t.
Why the gap in entries? After all, I have been writing this past year and half and my 5+ journals prove this. Each journal full of words, ideas, sentences and chapters just hoping to make their way onto this page. For some reason they didn’t. Why didn’t I continue with this blog? Because somewhere along this road of great intention for this blog, I became distracted with the business of life. My go-to phrase I began using was: “Life happens when you are busy making plans”. All the while, I was building my fortress of can’t, therefore solidifying why I can’t make time to get this message out. Life distractions was the reason for not sharing. I conditioned myself to think that I can’t and that I was too busy. Too busy being a wife, mom, and manager. My motto became “I’m too busy; I can’t find time.”
I am sure we have all used the word can’t in some way; “I can’t make myself go to the gym.” “I can’t control my emotions.” “I can’t do this.” As it turns out, how we use the word can’t, is inaccurate. The word suggests that you have complete or utter inability to engage in the statement that is is being used. So when you look at the statement “I can’t find time” you are telling yourself you have complete or utter inability to find time. It takes away the power and provides an excuse for not moving forward of fulfilling your goals and dreams. The word can’t is the fuel behind the distraction. I was basically telling God that I am distracted with all of these great things that you have given me and I can’t find time to write and it is completely out of my ability to share what you have given me. What if we took it one step further and replaced the word can’t with won’t?
So instead of me hiding behind “my distractions” and saying: “I can’t find time” I began replacing it with “I won’t find time”. WOW! How does this sound? Yes, it still sounds negative but won’t becomes the game changer. The word won’t creates a possibility of choice. It is amazing how the simple switch of a word creates ownership? Now the ball is back in your court and there is opportunity for you to make a move. It removes the excuse and empowers you to be real with the reasons of why you abandoned your goals or dream.
The game changer, won’t, brought me to question, why? If it was in my ability to write what God was giving me, why was I not taking the opportunity to share? For me, removing can’t and replacing it with won’t, I realized it was a matter of the heart. I was fearful of failure, what if it was not received? I’ve had no formal training in writing or blogging. A fear of success; what if this blew up? Oh the lies that we meditate on. Can’t was rooted in fear. Perfectly wrapped in a distraction and therefore keeping me from sharing. The bottom line is there is hope. The hope we have is, perfect love casts out fear! I had to remind myself of this perfect love. Because of His love, I choose to remind myself of my intention for this blog. Through His love, Can’t and won’t are replaced with the desire to share.
So this entry is a Welcome back! Welcome back to revisiting your goals and dreams free from fear, full of love. Embracing and knowing that God placed goals and dreams in your heart for a reason. Today and going forward, I challenge you to replace the word can’t with won’t to reveal a potential fear that is keeping you from running your race and finishing strong. Allow God’s love to cast out fear and remind you that you are accepted and created for such a time as this to fulfill your goals and dreams. Welcome Back!