Trust takes a long time to build, however can be destroyed in just one moment. When we trust, we have a belief that someone, like a parent, is reliable, honest, and true to their word. Trust is similar to the growth of a forest and it is mind blowing to think there is a forest in just one seed. It takes hundreds of years to grow and can be destroyed in just one forest fire.
A life without knowing a parent’s love or presence are similar to seeds that are planted in childhood. These seeds are watered and nurtured through unreliability and dishonesty that grow and eventually frame how you respond to life. I associated the lack of my father’s presence with a lack of his love for me. Without knowing his love, I taught myself how to “protect” and not step out in trust with others. I thank God for showing me how to trust in His true love.
I grew up without my father’s presence in my life. He and my mother separated when I was very young and I would never know what it was like to have a father share and celebrate the milestones of my childhood. Many birthdays and holidays passed without a connection from him. It became more about the lack of his presence and less about gifts or things. As a child I wanted to know my dad loved, accepted, and cared for me.
I was fortunate and had some amazing interactions with father figures throughout my childhood. Friends of mine had fathers who were actively involved in their lives. Going to school events, tucking them in at night, holding them close during the storms of life; moments I missed out on with my father. Father’s Day was just another day and had no real significance because I never experienced my father’s love.
Through the lack of a relationship with my father, a deep rooted lie began to grow. Seeds of insecurity were scattered along my journey and without knowing my father loved me, I developed a deep rooted protection determined not to be hurt by anyone. Oh how I built walls with the intention to not get hurt; the bricks were distrust and the mortar was the lie.
Looking back, I saw what God was doing. Even though my father was not there physically, or even emotionally in my life, God used loved ones around me to demonstrate His love. Through their dependability, consistency, and word, God was showing me how to trust Him as well as them. It was through my distrust in one man, my earthly father, that taught me how to trust in my heavenly father. Who is God? God is love and love covers. He is a father and more importantly a father to the fatherless! (Ps 68:5). Was my earthly father there? No, but my heavenly father was always there demonstrating His unconditional love though others.
Today, allow our Father God to love you like no other father’s love could. When you know that you are loved and treasured you will be able to trust. When you know God is your source, you can place your confidence and trust in Him knowing nothing will be able to separate you from His unconditional love and trust that His love never fails.